Kiss me in the Snow
by MssrTragicandConsumptive
Summary: Each year brings new surprises. Four glittering snow falls watch the progression of a pair of boys that want nothing more than to share the winter cold with someone, and maybe a kiss as well...  Remus/Sirius Wolfstar
1. First Snow

_Alright Everyone, Here is the first part of a four part story about Remus and Sirius and various awkward moments they have shared. This is one of three Holiday based projects I will be doing! Stay tuned for the next insert! ~Mssr TaC  
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There is something about the first snow. The way the sunlight glitters off the world and makes the whole thing look like a holiday card. One of those with the really romantic poetry inside that you would only give to someone you were married to. It's so beautiful and strange, like someone switched that place you lived in the day before, all dead and rotting, with something sparkling and beautiful.

Remus watched his breath freeze in great clouds in front of his mouth and very pink nose. He had no idea how long he had been standing there for, but it was more than likely a long time. Snow had shifted from the brilliant night sky and caught in his hair and on his cloak. He wasn't normally wasn't the type to come stand in the first real snow of the year, but this year was an exception. He looked up at the great snowflakes falling endlessly and wondered what it would be like to be so beautiful and unique. To know exactly what his purpose in the world was. He lifted a hand and caught the design on his mitten, watching it melt.

"You know, you will catch your death out here."

Remus jumped as he heard a very familiar voice behind him. He turned to see Sirius Black smiling at him, wide and with teeth as white as the snow all around them.

"No I won't." Remus snapped quickly, embarrassed for being caught off his guard. Sirius snorted and walked out to stand beside Remus under the sky, his feet crunching deeply into the flawless white.

"The first snow is my favorite." Sirius said in a faraway voice that was rather unlike him.

"I know." Remus said softly, taking in the look of breathless peace that had settled over the other boy's sharp features.

"Why are you out here all alone?" Sirius asked, not looking over to see Remus' face.

"I was thinking." Remus said shortly.

"You are always thinking about something." Sirius snorted. "What were you thinking about?"

Remus didn't reply, his cheeks growing pinker than the cold had already made them. He looked at one of the magically lit lamps that was casting a glittering glow across the courtyard. Sirius looked at him out of the corner of his eye and raised an eyebrow.

Several long moments passed before either of them spoke.

"Did you mean it?" Remus asked softly.

"Mean what?" Sirius asked, though he already knew.

"...the other day...did you mean what you said?" Remus was staring very hard at one of the snow-topped towers in the distance.

Sirius was very quiet for several long moments before he looked at Remus.

"I didn't lie." Sirius said slowly.

"But that isn't what I asked." Remus said stiffly. "Would you _like_ to kiss me? Or would you just be _okay_ with it?"

Sirius blinked. He hadn't thought Remus would want him to, let alone care if he felt anything of it.

"Well I mean...I wouldn't mind kissing you...I...I mean...I don't know if I would _like_ it because I have never kissed a boy like that." Sirius said. He felt like this was a loaded question. He had definitely thought about kissing Remus. Since the beginning of Fourth year he had wondered what it would be like to catch the gangly teen at the waist and plant one on him. Now they were fifth years and Sirius still hadn't ventured on the thought that had ebbed into his mind more and more with each passing week.

"But you don't know if you would like it." Remus said softly. Sirius was silent afraid to say the wrong thing.

The snow sifted down like a silent blanket and both boys listened to the other's breath for a long time, taking in the wonder in front of them.

"I see." Remus said at last.

"Remus I-" Sirius started, his brow furrowing.

"Sorry I brought it up. We don't have to talk about it again." Remus said awkwardly and turned to walk away in a hurry.

"Remus-" Sirius turned to stop him, but his fingers caught snow flecked air and he let his arm slowly return to his side as he watched the retreating shape of his best mate. He was more than a little confused. What had Remus met by all of that?

Sirius closed his eyes, feeling cold flakes kiss his cheeks and melt slowly, leaving a slight dampness.

Had Remus _wanted_ for Sirius to kiss him?


	2. Second Snow

As with so many first snows, the white lasted only the day and by December second the ground was nothing but slushy muck. They sky seemed to mimic the moods of two rather irritated teens, dark and gloomy. It promised nothing more magical than heavy, cold rain. This situation drug on through the week, just as frustrating as Remus and Sirius avoiding each other without cause.

"What are we suppose to do? I don't even know why they are fighting..._are _they fighting?_"_ James said to Peter in the common room that Friday. "It's getting so close to Christmas, you'd think that Sirius would be turning into that ball of mistletoe induced energy that he always is..."

"I don't know. Maybe Remus is being a girl again..." Peter said. He was stuffing a stolen pie into his mouth as he spoke, spraying bits of crust onto James' jumper sleeve. James gave a half-disgusted look before sweeping the crumbs away.

"Well, I would try to get them to talk myself, if I knew where they were..." James shook his head. Peter just shrugged and took another bit of pie.

Remus looked outside the window of the library. It was the same color as Sirius' eyes again. It was getting late and the cold air was seeping through the glass and chilling his fingers. He knew that being in the library was more or less a bad idea for avoiding Sirius, since that was where everyone expected to find him, but he wanted to look into finding some books on Transfiguration for their next essay. He had gotten terribly side-tracked by the sight of the snow clouds rolling in over the grounds.

"Right then..." He sighed after a few more long moments of watching the sky, then turned to face the stacks. He had to start somewhere and maybe it would distract him for a while.

Outside the library Sirius Black stood. He had been having an argument under his breath with himself for the past ten minutes, getting some strange and unsettled looks from passerby. He still hadn't come to any conclusions when he was found with his forehead pressed to the cold stone wall next to the door by one Lily Evans.

"Sirius?" She raised an eyebrow. She normally only ran into him like this when he was doing something against the rules. "You aren't planning to burn down the library today are you?" She asked cautiously.

"Is Remus in there?" He asked, ignoring the accusation.

"...Yes?" Lily said after a moment of contemplation. "He said you two aren't talking."

"No..._he_ isn't talking. I am stuck. I don't know what he is so bent out of shape for." Sirius said. He didn't even care that he was suppose to be teasing Lily about James' crush on her, which was his usual reaction to seeing the redhead. He was determined to solve the Mystery of Sir Eats to Many Chocolates and Behaves Like a Girl. "...girl! Lily! You're a girl!" He exclaimed suddenly, as if this was some great realization.

"Very good Sirius." Lily said sarcastically. "Now that we have a firm grasp of the obvious, are you going to tell me why you are out here talking to yourself?"

"It's Remus see, sometimes he acts like he has tits-er-is a woman." Sirius amended when he realized that he probably shouldn't be so crude around someone who actually did have tits and might be the answer to all his problems. "Sometimes he does things we don't get...girl things. Well, sort of. He has a diary you know...well, He gets all angry about things and none of us know why exactly. I think he is mad at me because I told him..." Sirius suddenly wondered if this was such a good idea. The thought of trying to explain why he didn't think he would mind kissing Remus seemed even beyond the grasp of Lily. As a matter of fact, he was starting to wonder if friends normally thought kissing their friends would be okay.

"You told him what?" Lily was watching Sirius stare at her like he had abruptly lost his train of thought.

"I told him...that I wouldn't care if I had to kiss him. You know-not like..anything creepy, but that I wouldn't mind it. Now he is all angry and I don't know why..." Sirius' eyebrows pulled together.

"Poor Remus." Lily said after a moment, a look of pained sympathy on her face. Sirius stared at her, more confused than ever.

"What do you mean 'poor Remus'? Do you know what his problem is?" He asked, getting closer to Lily who gave him a frown.

"If you can't figure it out yourself, then it isn't my place to tell you." Lily said softly. She then turned and walked away from the tall boy before he could ask any more questions. No wonder Remus had been so upset the last few nights during prefect duties. He wasn't exactly the type to space out for lengths of time. Now Lily understood perfectly, and felt a large amount of sympathy for the sweet boy. He was the only sane one of his friends.

Love could be properly horrible if the person you like didn't like you back, or even know of your feelings. Remus wouldn't tell Sirius he liked him, even if it meant he a broken heart. That was how Remus was. Lily looked out the window as she was thinking. White flakes had started sifting down from the gray sky. She wondered if she would ever be able to tell James that she secretly was starting to like him. Even if only a little bit. Did James feel like Remus did about Sirius? Did he make that face like he was in pain when she wasn't looking?

Remus glared at the book in front of him accusingly. Books were suppose to be reliable. They were suppose to be the ultimate distraction. Books were the perfect love. Reliable and always there when you needed them, never judging or making his heart ache with a passion that had no certain cause.

So why was the book not doing it's job?

The pages had remained unflipped for a long time now, open to eyes that had no intention of reading. The letters turned into white flakes, like the ones falling out the window behind him. He was standing in the snow, Sirius had taken his hand and they were watching the grounds become a delicate wonderland. It was just like the first snow when they were first years...

Sirius had taken Remus' hand in his own then, they were small though and it had been nothing but innocent childish contact. The little Sirius had taken him out into the whirl of white and cheered happily as he looked around, eyes wide with an ecstatic happiness that had stumped Remus. Sirius saw something magical in the snow that Remus didn't understand, but seeing the angry little boy so happy had made Remus happy too.

It wasn't until years later that Remus was told by James why Sirius loved the snow so much. Until that day Sirius had never actually been out in it. His mother hated the snow and when it came down around his house, Sirius had been forbade to go outside and play in it. He would watch it from the windows, envying it's freedom. That was until the day he had gone out with Remus. The moment became something special. Something he and Sirius had that no one else could take from him or intrude on. It was precious.

"Hey..."

Remus started at the all to familiar voice and stared diligently at the unread words on the page in front of him.

"Moony..." Sirius tried again, shifting on his feet and biting his lower lip. He only ever did that when he was desperate to understand something. Remus kept his eyes glued to the words somewhere in the middle of the page.

"Remus, please...I don't know what I did, but if you will...if you'd tell me, I'll apologize." Sirius sounded close to his wits end and Remus' heart gave a particularly violent pang of guilt mixed with that damned ache that had plagued him for months now.

"You...haven't done anything." Remus said quietly. He still wouldn't look up at Sirius. He could almost see the look on his face. Distress and guilt mixed with surprise.

"I haven't?" Sirius asked, "Then why are you avoiding me?"

"I don't know." Remus lied, he was pretty sure if he kept staring at the paper he would bore a hole through it.

"Yes you do and it would make our lives a lot easier if you would just tell me."

Remus finally looked up at Sirius and felt his eyes catch in the intense look he was getting from the boy leaning on his table.

"I can't." Remus said in a small voice.

Sirius contemplated this for several long moments, then grabbed Remus by the hand and hauled him to his feet, eliciting much protest in the process.

"Sirius-what are you-" Remus sputtered as Sirius pulled Remus too him, lacing their fingers. They then started swaying and moving around the little alcove.

"We are dancing." Sirius stated, cutting off Remus' half formed sputtering.

"Yes...but _why_?" Remus asked, his face hot.

"Because is is snowing outside, and you are confusing, so I thought I would just do something on impulse since things are already awkward. Dancing without music for example." Sirius grinned.

Remus looked up at him incredulously, then started laughing, pressing his forehead to Sirius' bony, awkward boy shoulder.

This was why Remus couldn't tell Sirius how he felt. He would rather feel this way and not say a word, than risk it all to have something so wonderful taken away from him.

Outside the grounds turned white once again, glistening as evening overtook the day and through the frosted windows to the library, two boys continued to dance to the silent song of snowfall, oblivious to everything else.


	3. Third Snow

Hogsmead was something of a special treat when winter time rolled in. It was a very well loved trip to go into the little magical town and see the whole place looking like a Christmas village in a muggle window display. The frosted roofs and drifts of very white snow were lit magically by the icicle covered lamp-posts. It was very much like something from a traditional Christmas picture book. The wind blew large white flakes that stuck in the various house colors of scarves and hates as students did their holiday shopping.

Remus blinked his snowflake spotted eyelashes and sighed heavily, his breath steaming out in a huge puff in front of him. He did love this trip ever so much, but he was a rotten awful chooser of gifts. He could spend hour upon hour looking through stores and never decide on a thing. This year was particularly important. He worked his way through the wind and as his nose turning very pink, he wondered what he was going to do. He had already been to Zonkos, Honeydukes, and the Quidditch supplies shop. He had yet to find anything that he thought would be good enough to give to Sirius Black for Christmas.

This year he couldn't give him just anything. It needed to be something special. Something that would get across just what he wanted to say. However, this would be easier if he knew what is was he _did_ want to say. He had been hoping his Christmas gift search would bring him closer to what his mind was trying to work out on it's own.

The wind whirled around him when a hand caught his wrist and he was spun around, his hat almost coming off, he was brought nose to nose with Sirius, who was suppose to leave him alone while he shopped.

"Sirius!" Remus gasped. Sirius grinned toothily at him and winked.

"It's been and hour and a half, you can shop more later, I am buying you a coffee or something." Remus just stared at all the snowflakes in Sirius hair and grinned.

"Fine. Then you have to leave me alone to I can finish my shopping. You can't keep a secret when it comes to gifts." Remus touched Sirius' nose with his mitten covered fingers.

"I can too!" Sirius wrinkled his nose.

"Liar."

"...yeah."

From the shop window the snow drifted down, and holiday piano could be heard from somewhere further away in the crowd of people partaking in pumpkin lattes or hot chocolate, which was so popular this time of year. The seats by the window were now occupied by Remus and Sirius, both with steaming hot winter beverages. Remus was curious as to why they hadn't gone and met up with Peter and James in the pub for a butterbeer, but he wasn't about to complain about the alone time.

"You have a milk-foam mustache." Remus leaned over the table and stuck a napkin to Sirius' face.

"Thank you sir, now I have a paper beard," Sirius snickered, making Remus laugh.

"It suits you. If glued more of them together you could have a beard as long as Dumbledore's." Remus took a sip of his coffee. Sirius gave him an amused look. "What?"

"I think I know what I am doing next Halloween." Sirius grinned. Remus groaned.

"Oh Sirius, don't even think about it! I think imitating the headmaster is just a bit much." Remus gave him a pleading look.

"Your fault entirely darling, you gave me the idea." Sirius said nonchalantly.

"Did...you just call me 'darling'?" Remus asked slowly. Sirius actually went a little pink in the face, abashed.

"Er...I...I think I just did." He admitted slowly. They were very quiet for a moment.

"That was awkward." Remus said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, like... you made me think of you as a housewife or something." Sirius nodded thoughtfully.

"I would make a horrible housewife." Remus objected, equally as thoughtful.

"No, you can cook, and clean, and all that stuff..." Sirius replied, leaning on the table.

"But I would look terrible in a dress and apron." Remus argued.

"...I don't know." Sirius said. "If you wouldn't wear it, I might though."

"Oh Merlin Sirius._ Don't_." Remus laughed, covering his eyes with a hand. "Spare us the image of your hairy legs in a dress."

"Oh, I forgot about my manly legs. Right then. Dress for you. Suit for me. We will have nineteen kids." Sirius nodded firmly.

Remus looked up slowly and his eyes met Sirius'. Neither of them looked away and some sort of feeling of mutual understanding came over them.

They both looked away from each other then and at anything else in the room.

Because neither of them were kidding exactly about a house with nineteen kids and being a couple, and neither exactly was going to say anything.

It was in this space that Remus looked out the window and through the dazzling snowflakes and carolers. There, in the shop window across from them, was the perfect Christmas present for Sirius Black.


	4. Fourth Snow

_Here we are everyone! The last chapter! I hope you enjoy it! _

_~Mssr_ _TaC_

Christmas is magical. Not in the way that witches and wizards are magical, or in the way Hogwarts' moving staircases are magical. Christmas has a special magic that only comes once a year and it has the ability to do anything. It can make snowfall look like something from another world and warm the hearts of even the most forlorn and miserable souls. Most of all, Christmas magic is noted for it's ability to bring hearts together. The magic of love has always been so potent through the decades, that it is no surprise that even in a place where magic is so common, something truly special and magical was happening.

Remus Lupin loved the way Christmas lights looked. Especially in the Griffindor common room, where the brilliant orbs were wrapped around everything from stair railings to portrait frames. The little white lights were each individually like a burning spec of hope. Combined, it made the room glimmer in overwhelming feelings of excitement and heartwarming anticipation. As he looked at each of the shinning lights, each doing its part to be beautiful, he couldn't help but think of Sirius.

To Remus, sitting in the armchair that Christmas eve, each little light was something about Sirius. The glint in his mischievous gray eyes or the way his face lit up when he smiled. It was the way it sounded when Sirius laughed and when he sung in the dorms on cold mornings. It was the feeling in Remus' chest when their eyes met and he thought about the millions of star-like snowflakes in his perfectly black hair. Sirius shone brighter than all the lights in the room put together. Sirius was hope.

Sirius stepped through the portrait hole into the amazingly lit common room and paused to appreciated it a moment before pulling the scarf from his neck. He spotted Remus' all to familiar form in the armchair closest to the fire, a book abandoned on his knee. Sirius smirked and made his way over to the other boy.

"Saint Nick won't come until you are asleep you know." He said casually, leaning against the large armchair next to Remus. The other boy startled and looked at Sirius, takeing in his wet combat boots and cloak.

"Where have you been?" Remus said pointedly, narrowing his eyes. Sirius had been gone all afternoon after borrowing James' invisibility cloak. Without asking.

"I told you. Saint Nick doesn't come until you are asleep." Sirius replied evasively. There was something in his eyes that said he was planning and up to no good at all. Remus looked around the common room. They were the only two who hadn't gone home for the holidays in Griffindor tower. This wasn't surprising though, it had been then same the year before. Most people leaped at the chance to go home for the holiday. Sirius had no home and Remus didn't want Sirius to spend Christmas alone. This left them with the whole glittering common room to themselves the next morning. Remus thought of his gift, Wrapped and waiting to be given the next morning. His heart sped up.

"Do I want to know where you were? You sneaked out didn't you?" Remus picked his book up an put his nose back inside it.

"You will see soon enough." Sirius said softly. Remus narrowed his eyes as his book slowly hid his face. Sirius just smiled on like a right berk.

The night continued on, and then, at midnight the Christmas magic was sprinkled over the rather empty castle. It swept through dark corridors, empty classrooms, and common rooms whose fire had died to nothing but hot coals. The whispering walls seemed to sing the soft murmurs of the inevitable falling into motion. Everything was perfectly still.

When the first ray of brilliant morning light caught the frosted glass of the dormitory windows, the curtain was yanked back from the further of two occupied four posters with such vigor that the whole scarlet length almost came crashing down around the bed. Sirius Black propelled himself across the gap between his and Remus' bed and he flung back that curtain as well. Looked at Remus, who was staring at him with wide-eyed alarm, then tackled him.

"IT'S CHRISTMAS!" He hollered, rubbing his face against Remus' chest.

"GAHH-Sirius! Ouuf! Hey! Stoppit you tit!" Remus yelped as Sirius accidentally tickled him. Sirius sat up on Remus chest, grinning so wide his face looked like it might split right in half.

"Yes it is, Padfoot!" Remus choked out between laughs. "Now would you kindly get off my chest?"

After Sirius had deemed that Remus could not in fact, give Sirius his present while he was pinning the present giver at the chest, he got off and sat at the end of the bed, ignoring all the other parcels at the foot of his bed in favor of Remus'.

"C'mon man! Let me have it!" Sirius bounced as Remus got up slowly and went to his trunk.

"If you are impatient I will make it invisible and hide it in here and make you look for it yourself." Remus said over his shoulder. Sirius made a face of horror missed by the other teen.

"You wouldn't."

"I would. You are a terrible influence on me." Remus stood, a brightly wrapped parcel in his hands.

"If you are referring to that time in third year, that is completely unfair." Sirius glowered, until his eyes hit the box and he started making grabby hands for it. Remus gave him a look. Sirius went stock still and shoved his hands in his lap.

Remus took the parcel to him and set it in Sirius lap. It wasn't terribly big or heavy, but it seemed to hum at Sirius' fingertips. Sirius turned the square of perfectly wrapped parcel over in his hands. It made no odd clanking noise, and was suspiciously light.

"It's...not a book." He said slowly, sounding surprised.

"It isn't a book." Remus repeated, affirming Sirius' words with his own.

Sirius proceeded to tear the paper away from the present with excited vigor, not caring for the state the shining silver paper would be in when he was done. Under the paper was a plain white box, the lid secured with a single piece of Spell-O-Tape. Sirius slid a finger underneath the lid of the box and popped it open. He peered inside and blinked.

Sirius lifted out a peace of mistletoe. It was an ordinary piece of mistletoe. He gave Remus a confused look. Remus smiled.

"It lasts all year. It won't wither when Christmas is over." Remus explained. "So you can have a little piece of Christmas all year long, since you like it so much."

Sirius set the mistletoe back into the box gingerly and then lurched forward on the bed to hug Remus around the middle. Hard.

"Thank you." He said earnestly, looking up at Remus with his large, puppy eyes.

"Y-you're more than welcome." Remus said softly, blushing and looking away.

Sirius suddenly pulled away and leaped from the bed, grabbing the box.

"We can put this to good use right now." He said with a smirk, then pulled a very confused Remus from the dormitory to the common room.

Once downstairs, Sirius fixed the mistletoe by a piece of string from the ceiling with his wand with a smile. He was looking very smug and sure of himself.

"Sirius, we are the only people here, who do you think you are going to catch doing that?" Remus asked, throughly baffled by Sirius' strange antics and confidence.

Sirius turned to Remus and smiled gently. It was a sort of smile Remus had never seen on Sirius before. Soft and unwavering, with some sort of gentle intent Remus knew was directed at him.

"You see, I couldn't really wrap your present, So I was going to give it to you in here, and I think..." He lifted his wand and stepped a little closer to Remus in the darkened common room, "Your present completes it."

Remus said nothing as Sirius waved his wand in a complicated gesture. The lights came on around them with a dim warmth, Sirius and Remus were looking right at each other. Remus wasn't breathing. What was Sirius talking about? What was he doing?

And then he saw it.

It was just one at first, then several. Remus tilted his head upwards. Snowflakes were falling softly down from the now enchanted ceiling. Remus gaped. Each little, very real flake twirled down to cling to the furniture, lights, floor, and the two of them.

"How?" Remus whispered.

"In a book, oddly enough." He smiled wryly. "I altered the magic that was used to enchant the ceiling in the great hall. On a smaller scale of course." Sirius said softly.

"It's wonderful Sirius..." Remus looked around the room in awe, the glittering lights and flakes of snow making the magic in the room swirl almost tangibly. He looked back to Sirius, his golden eyes glimmering with light and questions. Sirius shifted a little on his feet.

"I wanted to give you something special...for Christmas. I wanted to give you something special that I could share with you...and thats when I thought of it...that first snow...That was something special. We are always together when the snow falls and it makes it special. So I wanted to give you the snow. With us together..." Sirius tried to explain, taking a step backwards, as if nervous. Remus took a step forward.

"Sirius," He said softly. "That is the most thoughtful gift I have ever been given." He didn't know what to say, or what to do.

"It's not over yet." Sirius said, suddenly burst into a grin. Remus looked confused. What more could Sirius possibly give him after all this. Sirius pointed up. Remus' eyes followed. Above the was the mistletoe, it's teeth gleaming in the lovely snow.

"You-" Remus blushed. Sirius touched Remus' cheek tenderly, a soft smile on his lips.

"I have _always_ wanted to kiss you." Sirius said quietly, then leaned in and pressed their lips together.

Remus would have thought he was dreaming if it hadn't been for the almost painful blossom of emotions that lit inside his chest, knocking the breath from his lungs. Something that felt this way couldn't be a figment of his imagination. The lights and snow were dull in comparison to the touch of Sirius' lips against his.

When Sirius pulled away from Remus both their cheeks were very red. He smiled and took Remus' hand, lacing their fingers together.

"Happy Christmas, Remus." Sirius said softly, still smiling.

"Happy Christmas, Sirius." Remus replied.

Hearts can be very difficult to understand. Hearts aren't like books. They don't have unchanging words, set to page permanently. Hearts change. Hearts learn. Like each flake of snow a heart is a single unique piece of art so complex that it is impossible to take it all in with a glimpse. Hearts are also brilliant, and like Christmas magic, create miracles that can change the course of lives.

Sometimes all a couple of hearts need is some snow, a little magic, and the chance to make a memory that will last a lifetime.

**Happy Christmas Everyone!**


End file.
